Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Random Things......

Today is a typical Tuesday at our home. So far I have absolutely nothing accomplished and it's already 10:30 a.m.. All I have heard today has been the screaming of our little monkeys fighting over toys, who's going to feed the goldfish, and the screams of debate on why we can't put the wooden train tracks and fridge magnets in the fish tank for Dorothy (Elmo's goldfish has this same name) to play with. Oh and while dealing with these screaming children who MUST take after their father, I have taken away about 4 different things that could be a choking hazard and pulled my daughter off of about 6 different pieces of furniture..If that kid turns 30 and has never climbed Mount Everest I will be shocked she climbs everything!!!

For a special treat I will now add one of my sons latest musical creations...

Happy Johnny New Year!
I am a pirate captain and I have a parrot
My sister Z her name is Mr. Smee
I am the one that has the hook
"Hey mom where's my shoes?"
The pirate food is tasty and nice and I have my shoes now!

(All to the tune of Twinkel, Twinkle, Little Star)

Monday, August 22, 2011

Mudslide Monday!

Welcome to Monday, or as I sometimes like to refer to it "Mudslide Monday". Have you ever noticed that anything that can go wrong will most likely happen on a Monday? Why is this? It's not necessarily those big "Uh oh" moments but rather those small ones. Man can those small ones add up fast! Here are a few of the sure signs that you are having a "Mudslide Monday".

Top 5 Signs That You Are Experiencing a Mudslide Monday

Reason 5: You have been up since 5 am and couldn't get back to sleep. This is all because you have two kids in your bed with feet and elbows in places that they don't belong (this morning it was my nose and ribs), all while your husband is "not snoring".

Reason 4: While trying to get breakfast ready and check your e-mails and fb msgs your kids decide its a good idea to play with the TV volume when you least expect it (this is the moment that you are taking a drink of your freshly made coffee so its still really too hot to drink but you do it anyway). Then you jump out of your chair spilling the fresh coffee all over you, your computer, and the floor. This happens all to the sound of Elmo's World.

Reason 3: After you clean up the floor, the computer, and then if your are lucky to have the time to clean up the coffee you've spilled on yourself, your mother will call you and then talk for fifty years about the Lord knows what all while you are attempting to catch up on your laundry (which you never will). While matching up socks (one of the things I hate the most in life) you discover that the sock monster that lives in your dryer is back and has made off with about 5 different socks so you now have 5 socks that will never see their mates again. Stupid sock monster! Why is it he can never steal good stuff like dirty dishes?

Reason 2: While out to eat for lunch (because you think it is safe to get out of the house for a few hours) your children suddenly turn into "those kids". Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. "Those kids" are the kids that make their parents wish they were dead in public, you know the ones that are climbing on the tables, throwing food on the floors, oh and my personal favorites the crier/screamers..Yep on Mudslide Mondays "those kids" are my kids.

Reason 1: While you are trying to clean a house you know will never be clean, your kids decide not to bother you with their desire to do an art project....Because of their thoughtful consideration, on your way to clean the kitchen floors your feet are greeted by their latest creation. This new trend in the art scene appears to be made up of an entire bottle of Elmer's Glue (which I didn't even know we owned), finger paint (thanks mom), flour form the kitchen, and Christmas glitter (the entire 3 containers of gold, silver, and red)..

It's only 1:07 p.m. and already it is a Mudslide Monday!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Crazy Martians & Their Green Jello!

Does anyone out there ever have one of those moments where you are fully convinced that martians have taken your child's brain and left nothing but a sticky pile of green jello in its place?

If you aren't quite sure what one of those moments are then let me share with you a few...

The Top 5 Signs Martians Have Left Your With Child Green Jello

Reason 5: Your child is running around in circles in a public place while shaking his/her head up and down and making creepy sounds at the waiter or waitress.
Reason 4: Your other child is using his or her sibling as a diversion so they can eat whatever the people before you left sticking to the bottom of the table top. (Yep you guessed it, chewing gum)
Reason 3: While taking 5 minutes on an important phone call, your child has taken all of your lotion out of the container and covered their head, their arms, and your couch with all $14.00 of it.
Reason 2: While you are out shopping (that is if you are brave enough to take them out in public) your kids must talk to everyone about everyhting and anything that has to do with pooping in the potty (of course this is loud enough for anyone and everyone to hear in the entire store).
Reason 1: After buying brand new bedding for his or her bed your child may wake up at 3:30 am and decide that this is the perfect to smeer poop all over the new bedding, the walls, oh and while they are at it they might as well cover themselves in it too, you know, just for fun.

It's moments like these that make me go, "Why?!".